Turn on, tune in, drop out. In that order EXACTLY.
Every movie made before 1990 should just be called a “premake.”
They say that neanderthals went extinct because early humans hunted and ate them, which is just horrible. Now I’ll never know what they tasted like.
I was having a conversation the other day that got really awkward because I kept blurting out curse words at random times throughout the discussion. I tried to explain that it was due to a disease that I have. It’s called alcoholism.
What came first, HBO or DiGiorno Pizza? Because their slogans are surprisingly similar.
Juggling
Juggling is the hardest, most impressive way to get people to not like you.Any circumcision is a female circumcision if it goes badly enough.
I want to install rear spoilers on my car, but I can’t find any bumper stickers that say “Rosebud’s His Sled” and “Bruce Willis Is Dead.”
Anyone know the special move in Street Fighter 4 that let’s me regain control of my adult life?
Eating a raw burger is tartarded.
Instead of trusting all cars to follow “Deaf Child Area” signs, wouldn’t one “Cars Will Wreck Your Shit” sign at the end of the child’s driveway be way more effective?
It must be very confusing for J.K. Rowling to sign her text messages.
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Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
