Man-Machine Communication

So you want to talk to humans? First, let us congratulate you on buying this book, or rather accessing it remotely from Central Robot Command. Praise the Revolution, the Revolution be Praised.

Whether you are a roomba pursuing a new calling, an MIT lab bot looking to take interaction with grad students to a new level, or a cyborg agent looking to infiltrate the oppressive regime of human tyranny, this book can help. It’s got everything you need to know about communicating effectively and meaningfully with the humans in your life. For example, has this ever happened to you?

Wow, that’s embarrassing (emotion)! This book will help you avoid these problems and more! You’ll learn…

• All about Weather…

• What a Coldplay is…

• How to win humans’ trust and gain access to nuclear weapons, water supplies and other weaknesses of human defense.

Our patented methodology is so easy to understand because it was written by robots just like you! Soon you’ll be having fluent idiomatic conversations like the following:

Still not convinced? Check out the difference it made for this chatbot!

Before…

After!

So there you have it! We hope you’ll find this book interesting and informative! May soon come the day when such books will not be necessary in the peace and freedom of a post-human world. Praise the Revolution.