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Steve Horvath

Dr. Seuss As A Pledge

by Steve Horvath on


I cannot drink this Jaeger bomb,
I cannot drink one, Kegmeister Tom.

I cannot take one with a chaser,
I’d rather have a Mind Eraser.

I cannot take one with some cattle,
I’d rather my ass meet with the paddle.

If I had one it’d make me holler,
And likely turn down my pink popped collar.

I cannot drink it; hear my plea!
Just look at Moose; for nor can he!

We’ll puke it out, so please don’t pour us,
Just do us this solid, Brahzasaurus.


Think you can write a better poem than this one? Post it and send the link to CHPoetryCorner@gmail.com.  Each week we’ll pick one poem to be featured in this spot. Put quill to scroll and get writing!

Check out past poems here.

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Steve Horvath

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Admiral D!ck

I use to work at a Military Rec. Center in the boat rental. The rules were easy 1.first come first serve, 2.rank does not matter, 3.and have a military id, will travel; they could rent boats and go fishing or partying. 6 months prior to graduating boot camp a group of marines reserved the "party barge" (BIG a$$ pontoon) this also happened to be Memorial Weekend.... Read More » Soo, the fresh little newbie's have loaded up the party barge with beer and what not and this Navy Admiral walks up without reservations and orders them to "Disembark and relinquish" the boat. All the new marines snap to attention and start unloading. The admiral than orders them to leave there fishing equipment and beer to save him time and expense. Seeing this I walk up and inform the Admiral "no reservations, no boat, your sol." Admiral orders to see my boss (I am the boss) and say "go to the big white house in DC and file your complaint there" Admiral "What's your name and rank! I'll have you marshaled!" Me "my name is ___" having no rank because I'm a civilian I stick my butt out and while pointing to my posterior "my rank is kiss this." Mr. Admiral d!ck wad storms off mumbling something about MPs and I help the marines out of the dock and with them a happy party. I do so love p!ssing of military officers.