If you didn’t read this sentence, please click this fake link.
There are a lot of problems you can run away from in life, but back hair is not one of them.
A Former Homophobe Who Came Out Gay but is Still Sorta Homophobic
“If you’re not secure enough in your masculinity to masturbate to two men kissing, then you’re a bigger fag than they are.”All 30 NBA Teams Name Changed by a Guy Who Has Less Than 45 Seconds to Change Them.
Los Angeles Popular People, Chicago Winds, New York Buildings, Kansas, err, Sacramento Cows, Dallas Heat, Miami Beaches, Toronto Skeletons, Vancouver Time. Crap. Umm. Detroit Tigers. Dammit. This is so hard. Houston Texans Orlando Blooms. How much time? Wait stop. Stop! I said How much time, that doesn’t count! STOP! THIS DOESN’T COUNT!!! Memphis.If chivalry is dead, why do I feel bad when I let a door slam in an old woman’s face?
Dance like no one’s watching. Honestly, pretend I’m not even here. Take off your clothes. It’s like you’re alone right now. Come on, dance.
ASK JEFF
Q: Jeff, why do you have an Ask Jeff column if your answers never relate to the question?A: It doesn’t matter what you call them – you’ll still have five parrots, five dogs, three cats, and two goldfish!
Vocabulary? Ha! I don’t know the meaning of the word.
When Stephen Hawking masturbates, is it considered a stroke of genius?
Amazing Dad Magic
The Absolute Worst Case Scenario Handbook: Holiday Shopping Edition
The True Meaning of Christmas, According to Christmas Movies
Dating Dos and Don'ts
Five NEXT-LEVEL Handshakes
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
