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Guy Limits

by Kevin on June 25, 2009

Now-a-days there are age limits for just about everything. At 17-years-old I got kicked out of a hotel hot tub because I didn’t have a parent guardian present. Our society places ridiculous age limits for things that we “can” do. However, I believe there should be a greater importance on age limits for things people “can no longer’” do. Besides an age limit for women wearing bathing suits (which is arguably 42 years old and/or 180 pounds), I haven’t seen any problems with girls. However, everyday I see men do things that they should no longer be doing at certain ages.

With that being said, I have come up with a list of things guys do that should definitely have an age limit. Feel free to message me if you have anything to add to the list.

13-years-old: Guys can no longer wear whitey tighties, have a chili bowl, or wear shorts that do not exceedingly pass the finger tip test (Sorry frat daddies).

14-years-old: Guys are no longer allowed to suck on lollipops. Popsicles and ice cream are appropriate as long as they do not easily shape into phallic symbols.

16-years-old: Two or more guys can no longer share an umbrella. In fact, holding an umbrella is no longer appropriate unless wearing a business suit or holding it for a woman. In all other circumstances a hooded sweatshirt will do the trick just fine.

18-years-old: Male College Students can no longer wear Abercrombie or any brand of graphic tee.

19-years-old: Male Community College Students can no longer wear Abercrombie or any brand of graphic tee. You get an extra year because you are basically still in highschool. Hey now, take it easy big fella, don’t get offended. We know, you’re just getting the general classes out of the way and your transferring to State next year. It’s only a temporary thing, no ones judging.

23-years-old: A man may no longer attempt to be funny by mimicking homosexual actions on another male. Such actions are no longer appropriate and now make straight males uncomfortable.

27-years-old: A man can no longer wear another mans jersey or ask an athlete for his autograph at a sporting event. Have some self-respect, most of these guys are your age or younger by now. It’s time to find a new hero.

30-years-old: Men may no longer talk shit on Xbox live. There is no worthy comeback to: “Oh yea,well at least I’m not like 30 years old still playing Call of Duty.”

33-years-old: A man can no longer dance to rap music. (If white, you can no longer dance period.)

50-years-old:A man can no longer argue with his son or grandson when they suggest that you aredoing something that is no longer socially acceptable.Chances are they are right, and you are creeping someone out.

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