Roommate Confessions: Issue 83

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

You really didn’t do anything to provoke me, hell, you’re a pretty cool guy, so I guess I was just bored. Anyway, sorry about how I used to put paper clips in your food so it would spark up in the microwave and scare the sh*t out of you. Also, that time you slipped in the shower, that was canola oil, I find it has a less pungent smell, therefore raising less suspicion. Not to mention the time your bed collapsed because I loosened all the bolts and screws. Oh, and the ants in your Ramen incident. That was actually a tough one, putting JUST enough glue on the Ramen container so it looked untouched. Heh, sorry man.

Matt A., School Not Given

Annoying 3rd floor girls, remember when us guys went fishing and brought back a dead fish. We were going to do a harmless prank and leave it under your couch for a day. But you found it 10 minutes after we put it there and flipped out on us even though it didn’t smell yet. Well because you ratted us out, we decided to put it in your kitchen instead. Where it sat for about 6 weeks, and proceeded to stink up your whole hall for about 12 weeks. Next time I hope you learn to take a joke in the first place.

E J, Oregon State

All three of us learned to drive a stick shift using your car while you were in class. Sorry about your transmission.

Steve, KSU

My roommate will always forget his key to our place when he goes out. ALWAYS. So he ends up calling me at 2 in the morning to have me let him in. Well I’m am sick of being woken up 3-4 times a night at late hours of the night just to let him in when I have to be for work at 5. So I left him to the wrath of the internet. I posted his phone number all over telling people to text it because I need it for a sociology project. He got over 1000 text messages and a huge phone bill. All saying. “Will you let me in?”

Isaac L, FSU

Dear Girls who lived below us: I suppose you remember us, the room above you that you repeatedly called the landlord and police about because we actually had some parties on Friday nights, while you sat around in your PJ’s watching Sex and the City or some other junk, and complaining. Remember how your air conditioning went out in late August and stayed out for days? I’ll bet you remember it happening more than once. Turns out your A/C was wired to the fuse box in our apartment, and our A/C switch was in your fuse box. So we could turn off your cool cool A/C at our leisure when you were being extra bitchy, and laugh when we saw you outside on the sidewalk complaining to your mom on your cellphone.

Cam, Towson UniversitySubmit yours here!