Rejected Ben & Jerry's Flavors

Some celebrities have successfully been endorsed in a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor. From Jerry Garcia to Stephen Colbert, Ben & Jerry’s is always looking for a popular icon to promote their ice cream. Unfortunately many celebrities that apply don’t make the cut. Here is a look at some of the worst submissions that the duo has had to review.

Kirstie Alley’s Butter Butter Buttercream

Buttercream Ice Cream with a Golden Pools of Butter and Crunched Butter Tart Pieces

When she became irate after this flavor was denied, Ben & Jerry decided to produce the ice cream specifically for Alley, and send her a lifetime supply.

Fred Durst’s Nookie & Cookies & Cream

Cookies and Cream Ice Cream with Fred Durst’s Secret Sauce

Upon reading this entry, Ben and Jerry simultaneously vomited and realized that what they threw up would be far more delicious than Durst’s Ice Cream.

Sting’s Every Creme de Menthe You Take

Crème de Menthe Ice Cream with Sting Shaped Chocolate Pieces

Ben and Jerry thought this was an excellent idea for an ice cream until they realized that there were hidden sinister meanings within it.

Karen Carpenter’s Melting Away

Light Vanilla Frozen Yogurt with Added Air

Not only would this flavor have come in a container 1/8 the size of all other Ben & Jerry’s products, but it also would melt at freezing temperature, rendering it completely uneatable.

Sean Connery’s You’re The Flan Now Dog

Chocolate Ice Cream With Luscious Flan Chunks

This was surprisingly close to becoming an actual flavor until Connery told Ben, “Your mother’s a whore.”

Joel Osteen’s Experiencing God’s Flavor

God’s Favorite Macadamia Nut Ice Cream with Pieces of the Body of Christ and Gummy Bears

Shortly after the release of his book Experiencing God’s Favor, Joel Osteen figured what better way to promote it than to have his own ice cream. Ben & Jerry thought of many different ways.

Vacation Rocks George Bush’s
N/A

George Bush reportedly filled this out from his ranch in Texas, and didn’t write out the contents of the ice cream. Not only that, but he also filled out the application backwards, much like he did to become president. Ben & Jerry had more sense than to vote for this ice cream.

James Taylor’s I Can Ruin Ice Cream, Too
Caramel and Sweet Cream Ice Creams Swirled with Pineapple Peace Signs and Licorice Flavored Cookie Pieces

Realizing that this was just a terrible imitation of “John Lennon’s Imagine Whirled Peace”, B&J calculated this as the 47th horrible cover Taylor has ever recorded.

George Carlin’s Seven Dirty Curds
Week Old, Curdled Vanilla Ice Cream

This ice cream could only make people want to use all seven expletives at once in some sort of super curse, possibly what Carlin was aiming for, but not in the interest of B&J.

Larry King’s TrogloBITES

Wild Boary Ice Cream with an added blend of Dirt, Leaves, Sticks, and River Water
 

Larry King even offered capturing and killing the boars with his bare hands as he did as a young boy. Even with the promise of a more authentic flavor, B&J still declined.

Keith Richard’s Neapolitan Nicotine

Vanilla, Chocolate, and Strawberry with Nicotine Swirls

After he fell from a tree in Fiji, Richard’s came up with what he thought was a remarkable discovery: nicotine makes things better. Unfortunately, not even the fun loving hippies Ben & Jerry could agree to produce this flavor.