Literature’s junk drawer.
I was looking at the javelins for our track team. They have a warning label. It says, “Check surroundings for people before throwing.” Shouldn’t that be standard procedure for everything sharp?
Uncomfortable Riddle
A father and son are in a car accident. The father is killed instantly and the son is rushed to the emergency room. The doctor enters, looks at the boy, and says, “I can’t operate on this boy, I’m a woman!”I’ve been having a rough week. My dog was stolen, my car was run over, and my doctor diagnosed me with dyslexia.
Never put an exclamation mark at the end of “iPhone.” It just looks like you’re yelling the word “Phone” in Spanish.
Realistic Philosopher
If a tree falls in the forest, and that forest is home to dozens of birds, animals, plants and bugs, do they all suffer the horribly painful death of being crushed by a tree?I frequently wonder what the male to female ratio is at an ACTUAL Sausage Fest.
“Everyone says my dad was a freak, but in private he was just a normal guy.” —PRINCE MICHAEL “BLANKET” JACKSON THE SECOND
How many American celebrities’ lives must be claimed by the Iranian revolution before Obama takes action?
What color is George Washington’s white horse?
Brown. Like everything else that’s been dead for a few hundred years.She said that I always think with my penis, so I asked her to blow my mind.
Job Interview Dos and Don'ts
The 15 Best Christmas Movies of All Time
The Seven Deadly Websites
Facebook News Feed History of the World: World War I to World War II
The Internet Justice League
15 Things Your Girlfriend Says And What They Actually Mean
Hot athletic girls working a pole
Put that English degree to work over-analyzing beloved children's entertainment.
A good resource if you base you fantasy football team on great hair.
Dear roommate, please stop leaving your notes everywhere.
Cody Kennedy. Not pictured: clothes.
Don't tell me where Waldo is. Now you've ruined it.
This injustice will not stand. Largely due to the packaging.
It's rare to find sculptures of this caliber
For those who understand data sets, but not the mysteries of the heart
Just a few more quarters... I know I can get this baby.
