Last time out, I found similarities between the perfect girl and the perfect public bathroom. Now I realize that was a gross and juvenile comparison. Here is a much more appropriate, less disgusting comparison, the perfect girl vs. the perfect car. Both should have:
- Frequent waxings
- Low mileage
- Great headlights
- Clean, pleasant-smelling interiors
- Low maintenance needs
- High trade-in value
- Low emissions
- Wide rims, clean tailpipes
- Room to comfortably fit five
- Great performance when wet




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"You'll be part of me forever. Or, for the next 12 to 24 hours."
How to live in a tiny apartment, step one: buy a shrink ray gun that works on humans.
You can't spell "fun" without "terrifying." Oh, you can? I've been spelling it real incorrectly.
There hasn't been a disaster this cute since the Great Pomeranian Tsunami of '03.
Wrestling has so much drama, it's a wonder it's COMPLETELY REAL AND NOT AT ALL SCRIPTED.
If you can't stand the fire alarm, get out of the kitchen. And go on the Internet.
From the director who brought you Wall-Alien.
Hey, you just got here, and this is crazy. But here's some covers, so watch them, maybe.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.