7 Ways to Tell If You've Become a Tool at College

1) You’ve recently heard the O.A.R. song “I Feel Home” and felt the need to tell anyone you saw that, “Dude, you don’t even fuckin know brah, it’s like they wrote this song about me and my boys back home.”

2) You were at a party back in your hometown recently and couldn’t help but clarify something for your friends. “Dude, my fuckin brah Turtle back at State, he would fuckin smoke all you in pong.  Brah, he fuckin sunk it from like 30 feet away one time. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW!”

3) You have a boy named Turtle.

4) After another night on the town with your friends from back home, you let them know that, “Dude, tonight was nothin brah, let me tell you about my boy Sully back at State. It was his fuckin b-day brah, the Dudemeister housed like a liter of Grain, a bottle of Jaeger and like a case of Natty brah.  He’d smoke all you. SULLY FUCKIN ROCKS! I’m gonna text him and let him know brah.”

5) While listening to some music with your friends, you decide to give your insightful opinion. “Brah, Dave Matthews is like far and away, the most killer song writer of all time brah. Like, just listen to his shit man, it’s fuckin dizeep. Fuckin ‘Proudest Monkey’ brah, it’s like we, as human beings, are the proudest monkey. You gotta start listening to the lyrics brah.”

6) Shortly after receiving your C+ in Intro to Philosophy, you give your friends the honor of hearing your thoughts on life. “Dude, it’s like you can’t fight destiny brah, cause it’s like what you’re meant to do you know? It’s just like, screw mad bitches, drink mad brews, and like just live brah.  Yo, pass me a Natty brah.”

7) You planned to write about the ’10 Ways to Tell If You’ve Become a Tool at College’ but only got through six and quit. Then you grabbed a 100 Calorie Chips Ahoy snack pack and watched the Back to the Future trilogy on AMC.