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Jeff Rosenberg

Jeff Presents...

by Jeff Rosenberg on

2-Dew List

  1. Shotgun a Natty
  2. Take ear medicine
  3. Buy alotta visors
  4. CONDOMS!!!
  5. Watch CONAIR on dvd
  6. Steal some of Moose’s visors, they’re pretty sick
  7. Miscellaneous Frat stuff
  8. Buy mad Corona gear at Wal-Mart (i.e. woven trucker hat, bathing suit, big towel, boxers, etc.)
  9. Make a doodie
  10. Give brother Chad a deadarm
  11. Scream something into a pledge’s ear
  12. Hangout with someone other than Moose…maybe Chad???
  13. Work on haiku for secret poetry competition
  14. Sculpt those pythons
  15. Call Mommy <3
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Horrible Discovery

I work in Apparel at a department store, and I usually have to take care of the fitting rooms, like making sure clothes get hung up and put back and such. So, last week I get to work and began to check the ladies fitting rooms, and I get to the big one that's supposed to be reserved for handicap and women with small children, but some of the other employees will let whoever... Read More » in. When I open it, I see hangers everywhere, and 2 pairs of jeans stuffed underneath the bench. Assuming that someone had stolen jeans and left their old ones, I get down on my hands and knees and go to pick them up. Well, they were our jeans....and they were wet. Some lady who was trying on jeans peed in them and on the floor, and I got to discover it. I immediately dropped them and sprinted from the fitting rooms to the bathroom (that is on the other side of the store) to wash my hands. I washed them pretty much raw, but even so, I feel like they will never be clean.