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A Freshman Pictures His Last High School Party

by Ben Joseph on

Roll-over for reality.

I spot Tracey Sommers across the room. We lock eyes and approach each other, probably in slo-mo.
Tracey: Hey Brian! Good to see you!
Me: You too. Sorry I’m late.
Tracey: I still can’t believe you got Third Eye Blind to play my party.
Me: Yeah, they’re old friends of my uncle. Excuse me for one second.
I go onstage to play lead guitar for “Jumper”. I finish with a sweet guitar solo and flawless back-flip.
Tracey: That was amazing!
Me: It’s nothing. Just something I picked up during the six weeks of guitar lessons I got for my 17th birthday.
Tom, Tracey’s ex-boyfriend, enters.
Tom: Oh man, I’m sorry I made that up horrible nickname for you. You’re actually a pretty cool guy.
Tracey: Agreed. Also, since all your acne cleared up last week, you look a lot like that guy from Dawson’s Creek.
“Semi-Charmed Kind Life” plays in the background. Tracey and I make out, with tongue.
Tracey: Let’s have lots of no-strings-attached sex before we leave for college.
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Passwords

I work in IT for a fairly well known company, but I work for one of the smaller branches. It's just me and one other person and let me just say, he isn't the brightest bulb. We are suppose to change the passwords to the computers every three months, and I was going to be gone on the day that we were suppose to do it. I wrote down the list of passwords that he needed to... Read More » change it to in an Excel doc and told him that he needed change them before he left on Friday, but after everyone is gone for the weekend. Monday I get back and everyone is asking me why they cannot get onto their computer. It turns out the guy didn't like the passwords I had created and made up his own, and then forgot what they were.