Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin Decide Who Goes First

Buzz Aldrin: This is so messed up. I deserve this just as much as you do.

Neil Armstrong: Look, Buzz. We’ve been over this. I called it fair and square during training.

Buzz: There is no way that counts. You called it when we were inside a classroom. You couldn’t even see the space shuttle OR the moon. It’s against the rules.

Neil: Fine…I call I get to walk on the moon first! Ha! We are both inside the shuttle, and I can see the moon through the window. You just got ARMSTRONGED!

Buzz: Come on, this moment is way too important to just call it like that. Generations to come will remember the name of the first person to walk on the moon.

Neil: Then we should go by who has the coolest name. My last name is Armstrong. Game over.

Buzz: Now, hold on. My first name is Buzz. That’s pretty cool.

Neil: No, your first name is Edwin, which is super lame. Your nickname is Buzz. Anyone can come up with a cool nickname. Hell, I could start calling myself Hacksaw Armstrong and blow your nickname out of the water.

Buzz: That’s ridiculous; nobody would ever call you that. The only other name people might call you is “Louis Armstrong” because they’ll get confused.

Neil: Who would confuse me and Louis Armstrong? Besides the fact that we share a bad-ass last name, we are nothing alike. Give up, man. You’re the clear number two.

Buzz: We should let Mission Control decide. They are in charge, after all.

Neil: OK, Houston, would you rather have me or Edwin “Buzzkill” Aldrin as the first man on the moon?

Mission Control: We want you to know that you both are great astronauts, but Neil did call it. This mission would be meaningless if we didn’t uphold the tradition of “calling it.” Also, he totally turned your name around on you, “Buzzkill.” Classic Hacksaw!

Buzz: Damn it. Well, congratulations, Neil. Just try to come up with somethingelse  to say besides “You just got Armstronged” when you first step on the moon.

Neil: Thanks, I will, Buzz. Listen, it really doesn’t matter who gets to go first. Sure, I may end up being more famous, but the public certainly will always remember the names of everybody involved in this groundbreaking achievement.

Michael Collins: What about me, guys?

Neil and Buzz: Who the hell are you?