I lost my virginity to some random chick I brought home from the bar the night I shaved my beard into a soul patch because I lost a bet to my roommate.
When I was in high school I was over at my girlfriend's house and we were cooking dinner for her parents. They weren't home and we couldn't find a certain seasoning so we were looking through all the cupboards. On the top shelf we found a bottle of Extenze. I said just to let it go but she brought it up at dinner and totally emasculated her dad in front of everyone including his daughter's boyfriend. So in his embarrassment he looks at me and says, "go ahead and take them, they don't work."
-Nick G., Purdue
In my junior year of high school, instead of telling me she didn't want to date any more (we'd been on and off for a bit), my girlfriend told our principals I was suicidal and had threatened to kill myself if she didn't date me again. So I spent all of that day in the counselor's office and I couldn't leave school until my parents got off work to pick me up because "I was a threat to myself." My parents were balling their eyes out because they thought I needed help and almost had me going to a psychologist until I convinced my dad she was lying. It was kind of funny after all that trauma she caused me to have because she was the one that hid razors and pills in her room.
I dated a girl for a month in January, she did not hang out with me more than once or twice. So, there was no surprise when she dumped me. Well, I found out today (July 20) that it was her best friend who dumped me over the phone, not her.
Senior year of high school I dated this girl for about a year, and every weekend we got hot and heavy in her basement (you can interpret that one either way). Things in the relationship were starting to fall apart and I got accepted into a far-away university so the whole thing was doomed anyway. I managed to make things worse: the last night we had sex, I was 'servicing' her and when I pulled up, my face was covered in blood. She screamed and rushed for tampons I started to convulse violently. We eventually figured out that it was my nose that was bleeding
she dumped me a week later.
-Andrew, McGill University
This week's, "Are you sure she was the only reason you went to community college" Award goes to:
Throughout my junior and senior year of High Scool, I was dating this girl that was, looking back on it now, completely insane. She always told that I was her soul mate and how she wanted to get married right out of high school. Now, she was a year younger than me so after I graduated she kept pressuring me to marry her, and every time I replied its too soon and I wanted to wate until after she graduated,( which of course was a lie but it did shut her up for at least a couple of days). Anyway, when the end of the summer came I was going to go away for college, my ex kept telling me how she couldn't live without me and how she was going to kill herself if I left her. So, like an Idiot, I stayed home and enrolled at a comunity college to stay with her. A week before shool starts she broke up with me becuse she wanted to be with other guys, and didn't want to get married so young.
-Sam, Las Cruces