How God Really Feels About Gay Sex

The Garden of Eden, day ten or so.

God: Adam, there’s something we need to talk about.

Adam: Sure, what’s up?

God: It’s about sex.

Adam: Oh sex! I meant to thank you for that. Great invention. Use it all the time. In your top five, for sure.

God: I’m actually not talking about sex with Eve – I’m talking about sex with someone like yourself.

Adam: Ah, that? Sorry, sometimes I’m alone, or Eve’s not in themood, and I have to make do. In fact, since you removed that rib, I canalmost reach it with my mo-

God: No! No, I’m not talking about that. I meant about sex with another one of my creations, who I also made as a male.

Adam: Who? The snake? The angel with the flaming sword? Because youalready told me the animals were a no fly zone, and I’m not even surethe winged dude is into that kind of thing.

God: Look, one day, you and Eve will procreate, creatingnations of both women and men. It may come to pass that a man, like yourself, may lie with another man, and I just wanted to let you know that-

Adam: Oh! Got it. No sex with kin or blood relations. Straightforward enough.

God: No- I mean, yes, that too, but-

Adam: Wait, let me get this straight – you want to tell me how you would feel if I had sex with another male, a human like me, with the dangly bits, but not directly related to or descended from Eve and me.

God: Correct.

Adam: Where would this person come from?

God: …

God: You know what? Never mind. Figure it out for yourself. See how well that goes.

God disappears in cloud of smoke.

Adam: It was an honest question.