Everyone's heard of the wacky state laws that have never been repealed.  People just think that those laws exist but aren't really enforced.  Well they are, and the perpetrators of these crimes all go to one place, Wacky Law Penitentiary.

Loud horn, cell gates all open.

Guard:  Wake up you maggots!  Step out of your cell and address the Warden!

Warden:  Good morning, ladies. For many of you this is your first day at Wacky Law Penitentiary, and I just want to make one thing clear:  you all make me sick to my balls.  Your reckless disregard for human decency has landed you here, and I'm going to make sure you pray to Buddha that you die and get reincarnated as a human rectum.  Like you, what are you in here for?

Jerry:  I was carrying a duck on my shoulders during an election day.

Warden: *Spits out coffee*  Have you no respect for the democratic process you piece of sh*t??  I didn't kill all those Koreans so you can spend election day giving ducks piggy back rides instead of voting.  Now you, pretty boy, what's your story?

Melvin:  I had a warrant out for my arrest in Oklahoma for making funny faces at a dog.

Warden:  You sir, are worse than Michael Vick.  I would rather him fornicate my daughter on my dinner table during Thanksgiving than have to put up with you.  I wish that dog would have just ripped your funny face right off.

The Warden spits in Melvin's face, then continues down the line.

Warden:  You, yeah you, the one with all the tattoos that say, Death to the Innocent, how did you end up in my prison?

Roscoe:  What's it to you, pig?

The Warden hits Roscoe in the crotch with his night stick.

Warden:  Excuse me, I didn't catch that.

Roscoe:  Okay, okay, I was swimming in a public pool in Vermont, and I couldn't get the song "Poker Face" out of my head.  While I was underwater I started whistling the tune, which I soon found out is illegal.  When I got back up to the surface I was surrounded by the SWAT Team. 

Warden:  Ah, yes, I remember seeing that on Fox News, I almost puked up my bacon and eggs I was so disgusted.

The Warden kicks Roscoe in the face, Roscoe coughs up some blood.

Warden:  The Mayor is going to be coming in shortly to inspect our operations, so I don't want any slip-ups, understand?

The Mayor enters the cell block.

Warden:  Good morning sir!  How are you today?

Mayor:  Very good, Warden.  Everything seems to be in good working order here.  Wait, wait a minute…

Warden:  Is something wrong, sir?

Mayor:  Are you wearing cowboy boots, son?

Warden:  Why yes I am, sir.

Mayor:  And do you live on a farm?

Warden:  Of course not, sir, you know where I live, you and your wife just came over last weekend for a barbecue.

Mayor:  It is unlawful in this state to wear cowboy boots unless you own at least two cows.

Warden:  No… it can't be.

Mayor:  I'm afraid it is. Guards, take him away.

Warden:  NO!  NO!!!!!

Mayor:  I'm ashamed to call you my son, I don't know how I'm going to break the news to your mother.

The Mayor kicks the Warden in the balls, and the guards place him in a cell with his new roommate, Roscoe.