I have a confession to make, and what better place to make it then right here?  Oh, the privacy of being in the company of people who give a crap?  No time for that.  Anyway, I've been a bit of a globe trotter, if you will.  I've bought low, sold high, climbed the highest mountains, navigated the deepest valleys.  I've hunted and killed at least one of every animal on earth.  I've met with dignitarys, Presidents, Generals, Corporate CEO's.  but this all elluded me one day when I realized…I've never fucked a canelope.  Any melon for tht matter.  What have I been doing with my life?  So I decided that this madness would stop right now!  I have to admit it's a bit embarrasing at the check out counter when you have a 32 oz. Astroglide, 3 canalopes and a copy of The Olsen Twins "Our Lips Are Sealed" (hopefully do to suction) Special Platinumn Double Disc with over 2 hours of Bonus Footage!.  Not as embarrasing as buying vasaline, ping pong balls, and goat feed, but close.  So I get home, and carefully cut a hole into the canelope, making it ever so sweet and sexy, and sultry.  Once I had the appropriate diamter, I proceeded to warm her up in the love box (aka microwave).  Once she was hot I cut and taped some of my own pubic hair so as to give the illusion of having sex with a fully matured, yet ball shaped 1' woman, with leathery skin, and a delicious rind.  I applied my wankstick, and….fell in love.  Why did it take me so many years, to find happiness?  WHY?  I now live in a box behind the supermarket, where they throw away canelopes almost everyday.  It's like a practical orgy, every afternoon.  Try it, dude. Chicks are a waste of time, and they have cooties.