Guy: Ok, you got it?

Girlfriend: Yea.

Guy: Ok, is it big?

Girlfriend: No.

Guy: Are you sure? I mean; it's relatively big, right?

Girlfriend: No, it's about the same size as all the others.

Guy: So it's above average?

Girlfriend: No. It's smaller.

Guy: What!? How many have you seen?

Girlfriend: I've pretty much seen every kind.

Guy: Oh my god! You slut.

Girlfriend: What?

Guy: The one you're thinking of is the best you've seen though, right?

Girlfriend: I like it the best.

Guy: Alright, that's a relief.

Girlfriend: Some people have better though.

Guy: Are you trying to make me feel like shit?

Girlfriend: Why don't you ask a different type of question?

Guy: Fine. Can you eat it?

Girlfriend: No. You can't eat it.

Guy: But you can put it in your mouth right?

Girlfriend: No one would.

Guy: Would girls less prude than you put it in their mouth?

Girlfriend: No.

Guy: Would girls WAY less prude than you put it in their mouth?

Girlfriend: Still no. Ask a different question.

Guy: Is the owner of it really awesome?

Girlfriend: Yes.

Guy: Ha! Are you going to use it later tonight?

Girlfriend: Probably, if I go to the gym.

Guy: Babe you always look good to me.

Girlfriend: It's not what you think it is.

Guy: Trust me, I know exactly what it is. Does it make you feel good when you use it?

Girlfriend: Uh, I guess…

Guy: F*ck yea it does! I'm the f*cking man!

Girlfriend: It's not your penis! It's my iPod!

Guy: Well that's just weird.