Staff Picks

10 Books That Are Harder To Read Than 'Twilight'

by Nick Griffith on August 18, 2009

The Twilight books have turned a generation of adult women away from People magazine and on to books, word books!� The only problem is, this phenomenon comes with a sense of smugness among readers who consider themselves intellectuals because they often finish a book within a weekend or even a day.�

However, did you know that Twilight has a grade equivalent score of 4.4?� What this means is that the vocabulary and sentence structure of this book are best suited for people who read at a 4th grade level, mainly 4th graders.� I did some research and the following books scored the same rating or higher for grade equivalency and therefore are just as difficult to read and comprehend as Twilight:

In No Jumping on the Bed by Tedd Arnold, a boy named Walter disobeys his father by jumping on the bed and falls through the floor of his apartment building and meets all his wacky and zany neighbors.

Inspired by zeppelins, trains, old planes, with brilliant colors and lots of shiny chrome, Jack (a boy with a great imagination) has designed the ultimate fantasy car. There’s a fireplace, a pool, and even a snack bar! Now it’s time for the wildest test-drive ever!�� – Publisher’s Weekly

Amy loves performing with her ventriloquist’s dummy, Dennis. But Dennis is old, and his head keeps falling off. Then Amy’s dad buys her a new dummy, called Slappy. Soon she realizes that Slappy is trouble – big trouble. Amy must get rid of him, but there is one problem. Slappy doesn’t want to go. -Publisher’s Synopsis

Gibbons uses simple words and clear, colorful pictures to explain the seasons, the solstices, and the equinoxes. Besides discussing the earth’s tilt and orbit, she also comments on what people and animals do in each season of the year. Brief and occasionally disjointed, these remarks will serve as a starting point for class discussions. Brightly colored pictures, as accessible and appealing as those in Gibbons’ other books, illustrate the text. -Carolyn Phelan, BookList

David is only trying to be cool when he helps some of the popular kids steal Old Lady Bayfield’s cane.� But when the plan backfires, he’s the one the “old witch” curses.� Now David can’t seem to do anything right.� The cool kids taunt him and his only friends are freaks.� He even walks into Spanish class with his fly unzipped!� And when he finally gets up the nerve to ask out a cute girl, his pants fall down in midsentence.� Is it the Bayfield curse at work?� Or is David simply turning into a total loser? – Back Cover

A less funny version of Ernest Goes to Camp. – my assumption

When Lyle the Crocodile visits Mr. Primm’s advertising office, he has tons of fun and makes lots of friends. He also gets Mr. Primm fired. However, Lyle manages to save Mr. Primm’s career when he rescues the boss, Mr. Bigg, from the local haunted house. – Publisher’s Synopsis

Milo Neal is the favorite to win first prize at the science fair. But his project, which involves a chicken, sets off side-splittingly funny action featuring a star hockey player, a first-class dweeb, and an animal rights activist!� Is this chicken a mascot or a McNugget?! – Publisher’s Synopsis

Jack travels through the often poignant moments that highlight his sixth grade year, at the same time describing his unpredictable family life… Stuck between an older sister he emulates and a pesky if appealing younger brother, Jack always strives to do the right thing—often to land in trouble. His perspective is quirky but reliable, and often surprising. – Publisher’s Weekly

Twelve-year-old Wally – “the walking disaster area” — is forced to stand up to Camp Wahkah Wahkah’s number one, all-American bad guy. One hilarious mishap follows another until, fighting together for their very lives, Wally learns the need to love even his worst enemy…. – Amazon.com

Any of these books would be a great next step in the adventure of reading for someone who enjoys Twilight, but if these books are too infantile for one’s intellect, they can always jump up to the fifth grade level: