Croakies

by Adrienne Sterman on August 11, 2009

The OFFICE. LARA puts a pair of CROAKIE SUNGLASSES around FRANK’S neck.

LARA For you. Do you like them?
FRANK Why are you giving me sunglasses?
LARA A, they’re not just sunglasses, they’re Croakies. B, they cost like a million bucks, so do you like them?
FRANK How much is a million bucks in actual American currency?
LARA Just say thank you already!
FRANK …Not until you tell me why.
LARA Croakies make you cool. Like you could go fishing, drink a beer and have sex with five women and-or five fish all at the same time and your Croakies will never fall off!
FRANK Eww. Is that your fantasy or something?
LARA Why? Are you getting hot too? Because we could –
FRANK-STOP!! If the only reason you got me this gift is so you can get horny –
LARAIt’s not!…my only reason.
FRANK…taking off the sunglasses now…
LARAWait! Let me show you why I gave them to you?
FRANK Not if it turns you on.
LARA What if I keep my unrequited feelings towards you to myself, and we both get turned on?
FRANK NO! … Well…Ok…
Lara grabs the strap on the sunglasses, CHOKING Frank.

LARA Yeah feels good, huh!
Frank pushes Lara off of him “ he falls forward.
LARA But I thought maybe if…asphyxiation sex…
FRANK No!! Never again. OK?
LARA I overstepped my bounds, didn’t I.
FRANK Thank you for acknowledging that.
Frank goes back to work “ he then looks down “ Lara has crawled under his desk, has grabbed his crotch.

LARA Hand job?

Frank stands, walks away from Lara.

LARA (CONT’D) OK! Next time!

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