Issue #7

Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!

A friend of mine works for a grocery store in Texas, the other day he overheard an elderly white customer asking a black customer how to pick out ripe watermelons.
-Cody, Bond University

I worked at a pizzeria, and one busy night the oven had over-heated andshut off.I had been the smallest one working at the time and had to go under the oven and switched it back on. Unfortunately, my hands had been doused with olive oil and when lighting the oven, caught fire,burning all the hair off my forearms and face, thus earning the title of ‘Babyface’ among my co-workers.
-Payton

I just started my job two weeks ago and it required a hefty security clearance. They needed to know EVERYTHING, even car moving violations, so when I was filling out the forms I wanted to be honest and when it asked me, I wrote down that I smoked weed ONCE during college. Before they would grant my clearance they made me go to see a substance abuse counselor and now I am in my work’s substance abuse recovery program.
-Eric, Purdue

I’m a fire medic for the local fire department, we get to take off shirts to do 12-leads(look at their hearts). Needless to say they are all 60+ womenand I’m the one that gets to lift up the boobs to put on the stickies. Still waiting on that 21 y/o hot chick with chest pain :sigh:
-Richard, Georgia

I used to work at a local wave pool. One day someone’s 2 year old wandered into the pool by himself and started to drown. So I jumped in to save him and after I pick him up out of the water and start carrying him out of the pool he proceeds to puke all the water he swallowed all over my chest. This included his lunch which consisted of hot dogs and macaroni. Best part was his mother didn’t even say thank you when I brought her son back to her.
-Nick, Pittsburgh

I work at a Wal-mart which is bad enough as it is… one day a guy came in and bought a patio set paid for it, then went on to tell me that hewouldn’tbe able to pick it up until the morning because he had to sleep in his truck and there would be no room for him to sleep if there was a patio set in it.
-Zach

I work in an auto repair shop, one summer a lady brought her van in complaining that the air conditioner wasn’t blowing. She had the vents closed.
-Eric