Other Buttons Facebook Should Add

As we all know, Facebook seriously needs to add a dislike option. Nobody has the time to spell out their displeasure with comments; we just want to click a little hand that immediately informs our friend that what they said is uncool. But why stop there? Here are some other buttons that Facebook should add, and what they would mean.

The Eff This. There are times when disliking something isn’t enough. Sometimes, you want them to know that you really wish they’d go screw themselves. Hardcore. Like, say they said your mom was a hooker. Eff that. Say they said your mom was a hooker who wore too much make-up. Eff that. Say they said your mom was a hooker who wore too much make-up and creeps around Taco Bell looking for change on the street. That’s PERSONAL, and sometimes you get sweet finds in parking lots, so Eff that.

The Awkward Turtle. When you see a friend post something that they probably should have kept to themselves, show your inability to respond with the Awkward Turtle button. n00b post? Awkward Turtle. Status FAIL? Awkward Turtle. Mom lets loose a nickname on a friend’s wall? You bet your ass that’s an Awkward Turtle.

The Fonz. Sometimes a post describes something that needs more than a simple “thumbs-up.” Sometimes your bros actually put you before the ho’s. This deserves a Fonz. Obviously, anything jukebox-related deserves a Fonz. In fact, if you have a friend who references jukeboxes in his statuses, then that friend deserves a Fonz for life. Go and give it to him.