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Adrianne Vedego

How to Tell Your Friend is a Moneygrubber by Playing Monopoly

by Adrianne Vedego on

1. When you ask the question, “Who wants to be banker,” your friend automatically takes all of the stash and fans through it in front of him.


2. When you pick out pieces, he snatches up the money bag and thrusts it first on the GO space.


3. When he lands on Boardwalk, he slaps down $400 dollars, nearly breaking the board.


4. Landing on Free Parking is one of his life goals.


5. When you turn your head to talk to another player one of your $500s mysteriously disappears.


6. He is the most serious player you have ever seen.


7. He can make the money calculations faster than anybody you know.


8. He’s memorized the price of every single utility, railroad, and  vestate.


9. When he buys hotels for all of his properties, he whips out his iPhone and takes a picture of the scene.


10. He wins and the game didn’t even last an hour.

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Adrianne Vedego

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A Christmas Larceny

I used to work for a chinese computer company that no longer exists; one Christmas Eve a man comes into the store right as we are closing and counting money and insists that we start up the Point of Sale system again and sell him the video card he reserved online. We tell him that the computers have been shut down and all the transactions of the day batched and sent to the... Read More » credit card vendor. He keeps telling us that it's already paid for etc. and we keep telling him we can't process any more transactions until the morning of Dec. 26th. He then takes out a revolver and makes us lay on the floor while he steals the cash drawers and takes off. Turns out he had in fact reserved the video card online and his full name, address and phone number were in the system along with his email address; i bet his New Year sucked.