Notice of criminal incident in ***** *********** Hall
August 27, 2009
Today, at approximately 12:50 p.m., a male was observed masturbating in ******* ************** Hall in the fifth floor lounge.
The suspect is described as a white male with a pale complexion, 25-35 years of age, 6 foot, 200 pounds, short buzzed hair, some facial hair, thin silver glasses, black baggy t-shirt and light colored jeans.
During the investigation of this incident, a witness reported seeing the suspect earlier in the day in a bathroom in West Ambler Johnston.
If you have any information about this incident, please contact the Virginia Tech Police at --****. We ask that you promptly report any suspicious activity and be aware of your surroundings at all times.
All-Nighter Recovery
Year of the Rat -A freshman's tales

Next Week on Mad Men...
The 10 Lies You Tell Yourself Every All-Nighter
The Six Types of Commencement Speakers
Angry Amazon Reviews of Adorable Dog Costumes
Almost Reading
The Troll
Humor Us
TLDNR
Regret Everything
The Graphic Truth
CollegeHumor Interview
Twidiots