Dating, It's Complicated: Issue #16

My current girlfriend is a virgin and has never gone past first base. After a few months, I tried convincing her to give me head. When she finally warmed up to the idea, she asked me to show her how to do it. I had to pretend that her index finger was a penis and suck it to teach her. I gave her finger a blowjob for at least a few minutes. After that, she changed her mind and never gave me anything.
- Daniel

A couple years ago I was on a blind date with this lawyer my mother and her friend made me go out with. After being seated at the restaurant, he told me he wants to marry someone as accomplished as his sister, explaining “She can cook and clean as well as my mother.”
-Dina, New York

In high school I dated this guy for a month and I thought things were going ok until he broke up with me…In a typed letter…Which he signed with his first initial, middle name, and last name. He then proceeded to call three days later to “see if I had any questions.”
-Sabrina, SUNY New Paltz

Sometimes, to get my boyfriend to do favors for me I’ll jokingly tell him I’ll give him oral sex in exchange. I even wrote up funny “blow-job passes” that said: “This entitles you to one free no obligations blow job” signed by me. Well, my boyfriend lived at home for the past semester and accidentally left them on his desk. Next time he went home his mother greeted him, holding the blow job cards.
-Laura

I was on a first date with this girl. Things were going well, we were getting relaxed and were really starting to talk. I mentioned that I had just got my motorbike license. She thought that was really cool but said that I shouldn’t get a Vespa because they are “gay”. I had already bought myself a Vespa.
-Chris

At a new year’s party, my ex’s best friend told me, “You’re fuckable now, not like in high school.”
-Samuel, RVA

Okay, so after by ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for about three years, he mentioned how hot he thought corsets and stockings and pin up girls are. So, for our four year anniversary, I went out and bought a whole outfit- this was squeezing my budget at the time- of a corset, stocking, matching undies, new heels, had my hair done, everything. After cooking him dinner, I got dressed and pranced out to the living room. He looked at me, said, ‘That’s hot baby, but next time buy a gift for me not just for yourself’.
-Sophia

One weekend my phone was running out of batteries and I’d just lost my charger, so before I lost it completely I left a message at my girlfriend of 2 year’s house to call my buddy Dan’s phone if she needed to get ahold of me. At about 2 am we’re all drunk and high and Dan notices a missed call from an unknown number, calls it back and gets a very angry man. Not in the mood to take any shit Dan and I decide to take turns prank calling this guy until he finally threatens to call the cops on us… a couple minutes later I realize that the missed call had been my girlfriend calling from her house and the irate man was her dad getting woken up at 2 am. After he found my original message with Dan’s number on it the next day it didn’t take him long to put the pieces together as to who’d been harrassing him.
-Marc, UNH