Rules for Facebook

-Always judge a person by their profile picture. They obviously picked it because it is the one where they look the most attractive. If you don’t like what you see you might want to consider unfriending them

-Anybody who posts more than three statuses a day is either a narcissist or an old lady. Both groups are comprised of useless people unless the narcissist is yourself and the old lady is the cougar that is giving you easy sex and a place to live while you attend college.

-Before you ever consider dating somebody, read what other people post on their wall. Just because they have intelligent stuff in their info section like “I totally love to read about string theory, LOL” this does not necessarily bespeak intelligence. Smart people surround themselves with other smart people and their friends wall posts clearly indicate this. If you see posts on their wall like “OMG last niiiight was so rediculously [sic] awesome. Ive like never vommited that harddd in my entire life!” Listen to me my padowan. What I say is oh so true.

-If they have an honesty box on their profile this SCREAMS of insecurity. Just to get them some tough skin type in, “I’ve taken shits that are prettier than you.” Nothing is more unattractive and pathetic than a desperate and insecure person. Own them so they can one day own themselves. Wisdom for ya right there!

-If you see their supposed IQ score listed anywhere on their profile, immediately subtract 80 points from said score. Chances are you will end up with a real moron that needs some reassurance.

-Every time you see a cup of beer in their hand as you scan through their photo albums, subtract one dignity point and add it to the shamelessness category.

-If they are in an open relationship and they are a guy, DEFINITELY friend him because he is a pimp. If it’s a girl write “Slutty slut slut” all over their wall.