+4065551212… Hey Kelvin its dilim would u like to come to the theta delta sigma multicultural dinner tonight at 6 at chapman lounge. Of u canjust let me know…. :)

Me: Yeah, but do you want me to bring the coke?

+406: Lol, u dont have to bring anything. But if u want to i won stop u:)

Me: Ok, cool, but I got last time, you cover the buy this time. Those Samoans don't fuck around.

+406…: Lol i didnt know u were samoan. Well ill c u there ! :P

Me: Yep, rsvp for me plus 3 Guatemalen hookers. You get the fat one.

+406…: lol omg !! R they hot? I dont mind the big one.

Me: Well, have a good time. I'll send her over, but I can't make it. She answers to Mimosa. See u around.

+406…: Wtf her? I dont do girls lol… So ur not coming:(

Me: Oh, wait, I thought you were into that. Don't u remember the night at Delta Sigma in August? I do.

+406…: Who me? I neva went to a delta party… lol r u sure ur not talking about someone else?

Me: Are you sure I'M who you're talking to?

+406…: kelvin right? Remember wh u told me n kikki that horror story

Me: Texting someone whose # you're not sure about can be dangerous.

+406…: but that's the number u put in the sign up sheet. Wait r u kelvin?

Me: Uuuuuuuuuuuuum. No.

+406…: oh srry then

Me:Don't be sorry. I'm still sending over the Guatemalen hooker and the coke. Look for the Samoan with the tattoo on his face. Cash on delivery.

-Real texts, responses by Marco Ceglie and Brian Fairbanks