OK, so I'm assuming most people love their moms- bonding during the pregnancy, breast-feeding, her making your meals and doing your laundry for almost two decades, and all that other jazz. But when their skeletons come out of the closet, you'll wish they were back at the bottom of the ocean walking around with dreads and scimitars:

1) "Mom, how come I'm turning the same number of years as your wedding anniversity?"
"Oh, I was 5 months pregnant with you when I married your dad."
2) She went to a Catholic high school with a mandatory skirt and blouse uniform- don't let your imagination go rampant!
3) "Boy, was I wild at your age! I used to sneak out to go out drinking with my friends when I was in high school!"
4) She was a cheerleader in high school- need I say more?
5) She went to a liberal arts college renowed for it's pot-growing
6) "I didn't shave my legs for 3 months when I was backpacking through New Zealand."
7) She subconsciously thinks you're wacko: "There's this crazy kid in my 7th-grade class who loves anime and does karate. Who does that remind me of…?"
"Me."
8) "I almost got expelled from school because I failed all my major prerequisites my first semester of college."
9) She hates your favorite band: "OK, we've got to change the music in the car. This 'Modest Mouse' sucks."
10) Her favorite movies are 'Mamma Mia' and 'Cast Away' (which she guilts you into watching with her every other weekend)