Have you ever noticed that:
The only book people ever read anymore is facebook
In China sometimes you actually put a real dog in a doggy bag.
Most people who post on F My Life doesn’t have a life to begin with?
Google images will give you a picture of a cat no matter what you search
Nobody really likes cats that much but they are all over the internet
The same ten or so people are the ones that post facebook statuses and they are usually the ones that you would rather not know about
A jockstrap should really just be called a cockstrap
Most of the people that you see crusading against abortion should have been aborted
If you’re intelligent you’re called a radical and if you’re stupid you’re called a patriot
If you add two random syllables together and put to on the end of it you have a drug name: “talotor,” “daportor” “assholetor” “penistor“ Well maybe not the last two.
Most of the time a dog’s real Doggy-style just involves humping a leg.
When you have a blot of acid you generally don’t want to actually drop it. It usually costs a lot of money to be doing that.
A gay guy who really likes anal sex must be really confused when he thinks a guy is an asshole
People complain about the Partriot Act taking away their right to privacy, meanwhile they post everything about what happens to them on Twitter
PETA tends to act like a bunch of animals when they protest
People who are partially retarded (Americans) are actually worse to be around than people who are fully retarded
The plants grown on a funny farm would be really crazy
The only time that taking a break really sucks is when you are in a relationship
If Santa Claus and God were real they would probably have a huge rivalry going
That technically a bachelor’s Best Woman is his soon-to-be-wife
The Boogie Man sounds like a guy that would be fun to dance with
That the cool people are usually hot. They are climatically confused.
Trojan condoms named themselves after the Trojan Horse, which involves an attack disguised as a gift, and generally it is only when you are pretending to wear a Trojan that it is really a Trojan Horse.
A guy can be both types of sexual parts: a dick and a pussy
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My all-dental dam band will never be this good.
All these Twitter accounts are run by Odie.
You will be more frightened while watching this video than anyone in it.
Good luck, detention monitor.
When is the holiday to memorialize stupid people lighting themselves on fire?
This guy better go to the ER...which stands for the Excellence Room! Boom.
Can I apply to Facebook College?
When you use GPS, your destination is always the grave.
The fact that the Nicolas Cage Project is not funded by the federal government is a TRAVESTY.