INT Sam calls older brother Joshua from apartment in Alabama.
Joshua: Hey Sam. How's the deep south?
Sam: Horrible. Haven't been laid in months.
Joshua: You got ass every night in the city.
Sam: There is only one redneck bar in town.
Joshua: Try the internet. Use jdate.com
Sam: Little skeptical about using the internet. Find it pathetic.
Joshua: For a jewish wall street guy like myself using jdate is like fishing with dynamite. I caught fucking 15 jewfish in the last 2 months.
Sam: I will try it. But don't think its like New York.
Sam logs onto his account. He is looking at a picture of NattyLight69. She has 2 photos. One of them is with a pig in the mud and she his holding a natural light with a cig in her mouth. She is wearing a one piece budwieser swim suit. The other one is the same outfit but on top of a horse. He receives an instant message from Regina.
Regina IM: I like your profile. Love the joke about being jewish. lol
Sam IM: It's cool you like a guy with a sense of humor. You look good. Let's meet up.
Regina IM: Sure. Just need to know one thing. The Jew thing is a joke right?
Sam IM: No, I am really Jewish. Is that a problem?
Regina IM: OMG I can't beleive you all really exist. In my hometown. That's why I made a profile. Haha
Sam IM: Don't know if we should meet up. Don't have much in common.
Regina IM: Don't worry we don't need to do much talking. Meet me at Maitland Park at 2pm tomorrow.
Sam IM: I will, but don't see the point.
EXT Maitland Park
Sam shows up to the park. As he approaches he notices 4 men in ku klux klan outfits. He turns around. Regina runs after him. Sam starts running but she catches him.
Regina: Wait up. Dang.
Sam: Don't think its a good idea. Whether they are ghosts or the klan I don't get along with either one.
Regina: They ain't ghosts. I swear. I told Daddy I was meeting a Jewboy and he made me bring my brothers.
Sam: I will come over if they take off their hoods.
Regina: They are scared.
Regina: Daddy says if you look at our faces we can turn frozen and then Jews take all our money.
Sam: Where's your hood?
Regina: I ain't got no money.
Regina introduces Sam to her brothers. They won't remove their hoods.
Regina: This is Billy Bob, Stevie Ray, Cletus, and #4.
Sam trys to shake Billy Bob's hand. He won't shake his hand.
Billy Bob: We came here for a few reasons. Our daddy has told us a ton of Jew tales.
Cletus: I got one. What about Jews got horns. I need to rub your head before you get with my sister.
Sam: Rub away Cletus.
Cletus starts rubbing. Then Stevie Ray and the other two form a line to rub next.
Sam: Enough already. I will not tolerate this. Your daddy is a dumbass redneck and
#4 interupts Sam by throwing water on him and rubbing garlic in his face.
Sam: What is that? Fucking holy water and garlic. I am not a fucking vampire.
Stevie Ray: Daddy warned us about the Jew temper. And how in water you can multiply.
Sam: We sure can multiply. I am a fucking gremlin now.
Cletus: Daddy says that all Jews are the devil.
Sam: Wouldn't that be tough for one devil to be a multiple of Jews.
#4: He is using his Jew witchcraft. Run for it. Get in the truck.
They get in the truck and drive off.
Regina: I will call you.
Sam picks up the phone and calls Joshua.
Sam: Good call on fucking jdate in Alabama.