The Penis Game

After Superbowl weekend, here is a new game for the masses to play under the illumination of burning Rex Grossman effigies.  It’s a game that begins and never really ends, very similar to the burning sensation my roommate gets when he pisses (the thing that kills him is that she just looked so damn homegrown).  Either way the game is simple.  While sitting with a friend, claim that your penis has performed some grand and wonderful act which is wrongly attributed to some respected figure of the past.

  For instance, I might be sitting down with my roommate and say “Did you know my penis won an Oscar for producing the film Bridge Over the River Kwai.“  He might respond with, “Oh really, because the Manhattan project used my penis as a model for the first atomic bomb.“  After a moment of silence for those lost in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, I might respond, “Well were you aware that my penis won the 1996 N.B.A. Slam Dunk Contest.  After replaying the winning dunk in his head, my roommate might say, “That’s fine and good, but did you know my penis is the third seat viola in the Boston Pops.“  I’d probably come back “My penis actually developed the Polio vaccine.“  My roommate might look down to his lap, begin to frown and say, “My penis needs some penicillin.“  Yeah, unfortunately these games will tend to end awkwardly…