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RACE WAR!!! (if in an enclosed space do not shout this, as the exclamation marks imply)

by Tim on

Ok, this post isn’t actually about a race war (sorry Rev. AlSharpie-ton (haha, i hate myself sometimes)), but I just thought thatcalling a track meet a race war would greatly increase people in theseats.

Now if you’re still with me, great! Because from here onout the rest of the post is going to get just as arbitrary as the firstpart. Essentially I’m going to give you a little run down of what the“real” college experience is like. Spoiler Alert!! It’s nothing likethe show “Greek”. Sorry 15 yr. old girl who loves Nick Jonas. (P.S ifyour 15 and your reading my blog, odds are you have a terrible case ofBack acne)

OK first off, much of your time will be spent waitingto go eat. Not eating, just sitting in great anticipation of what willcause your next round of the runs.

Then, for guys this is, you will play more hours of than you can possible imagine. Here some fun things to do once you beat the game:

1)Spawn a helicpoter, fly as high as you can and jump out. Hitting a carwith your body is one of the most rewarding things you will accomplishin a semester. (yes, it’s sad)

2) Spawn a fast car and just start running down hobo’s. (my spell check actually corrected my spelling of hobo’s. odd)

3) Just shoot S@#T! It’s fun and relaxing after those long hours of procrastinating your stats homework.

4) Find some train tracks, get a car, and start playing chicken

Alright,then you have parties. Which are essentially a bunch of sweaty dudestrying to act cool in front of girls. Then you have the girls who startout the night saying “I’m only going to have one!” but eventually pukeon the carpet. Always on carpet.

For all the worried parents(including my mom) school work does get done…eventually. Now I’m notsaying to let your grades slip. Because then you would have to get areal job and besides reality TV I’m happy with my bubble.

Hopefully this has shed some light on stuff that was previously…not in the light?

P.S-i want to start a petition to change the “Olympics” to WAR OF THE WORLDS

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