How to Get the Hottie at the Party

Follow these tips ladies and you’ll definitely get your man, at least until the hangover wears off.

Laugh at all his jokes
Ha ha great Dane Cook impression!

Keep drinking. Especially, YOU (girls that weigh 90 lbs.)
Sure, I’ll have another Budlight Lime

The phrase, “That’s SO interesting” never gets old.
Wow you can drink a 12 pack in 15 minutes?! That’s SO interesting.

The phrase, “You’re SO funny” can never get old.
You were still drunk AFTER the funeral? hahah that’s SO funny.

Echo his similar interests.
Yeah I remember that scene in Old School. Will Ferrell is the best!
Yeah there is nothing better than Dave Matthews live.

Remark often on how you have no gag reflex.
Ya know, I could’ve been a sword swallower in a past life.

More obvious.
I don’t have a gag reflex.

Better.

Always sneak the subject of your lacy panties into any and all conversation.
Really?

Don’t question me.
He keeps talking to that girl. I think they might be dating…

He’s just trying to make you jealous. Have another drink.
I guess one more wouldn’t hurt.

Now, give him a sensual massage without using your hands.
How would I do th—

Ok, you’ve got him hooked. You’ve had a ton to drink, now is the perfect time to start dancing on the coffee table.
I don’t think this is working. I feel kind of sick and I’m pretty sure he’s got his hand down that girl’s pants.

You wanna get the guy? Start dancing, bitch.
I need to get to a bathroom. I don’t feel so good.

What? You dumb slut. He’s totally into this.
I’m gonna puke.

That’s good that’s good. Now you can keep drinking.
He’s making out with her, I’m leaving.

Quitter.