West Virginia Quarterback Has "Accident"

   Pat White, the dangerously talented quarterback, who has lead the West Virginia football team to an 8-1 season thus far, has had what the local media called an ‘accident’. Shortly after this turn of events, everyone turned to look at Rutgers, who was reading a magazine; Rutgers promptly looked up, shrugged it’s shoulders and muttered, “I don’t know nuthin’.” Suspicions of foul play were immediate due to the nature of the incident. It seems White’s throwing arm was permanently mangled in such a way that he would never be able to throw again. An obviously shaken and pale looking White had this to say, “I fell down some stairs.” Also found in White’s bed was the head of WVU’s mascot, the mountaineer, who was a toolbag anyway, and will not be missed; on a related note, WVU’s mascot will now be the Silly Nanny. Rutgers University, who has allegedly been linked to several intimidating phone calls, and other misdemeanors, has never admitted to any crime. However, the school motto, ‘Don’t Ever Go Against the Family’ has only furthered skepticism of their innocence. The police have decided to delay the investigation until the end of the football season. WVU chief of police, who was blinged out more than a shitty rapper, stated, “It’s just best not to ask too many questions at this point in time…are you gonna eat that donut?”