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(Clean) Girls of Rutgers, Please Give Schiano Some Ass

by Ponch on

I know he’s married with kids, but come on, seriously, for realz, I think they understand the situation. He was telling me half the reason he came here was trashy Jersey girls. They’re building him a new house with a specific room for banging sorostitutes, in addition, there will be a new Rutgers bus to take you there, but you must be this slutty to ride. If there was ever a good time to sit this guy down and dance the crap out of his lap, it would be ahora. I don’t think I need to explain what chopping wood really means; he needs those front row honeys to flash him, too. Hell, I don’t think he’d even mind some love from the fatties who are (rightfully) tucked away in their black boyfriend’s apartment’s kitchen. Plus think about it, if you did blow him, you’d be more famous than Monica Lewinsky, and you can get your own TV special on ABC describing how lonely you were at the time; then you can jump start a singing career in Hollywood only to be spit out at the bottom of the porn industry. More importantly though, we need to keep his monkey ass at RU, because all the other Universities are already sending him pictures of some of their women up for grabs. We need to give him a reason to stay here besides the millions of dollars, publicity as one of the greatest coaches of all time, job security for the rest of his life, and an all around unparalleled sense of accomplishment…actually, screw that, throw some ass my way, you cokewhores. sigh

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