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Jon Wolf

Moral Kombat

by Jon Wolf on

 

Johnny Cage and Scorpion walk to the middle of a completely symmetrical ancient Chinese palace courtyard.
 
JOHNNY: Look! A wallet! Finders keepers!
 
SCORPION: What? No, check inside for I.D.!
 
JOHNNY: No way!
 
SCORPION: Get over here!
 
JOHNNY: I found it, it’s mine! … Holy Goro, there’s so much cash in here!
 
SCORPION: Johnny, you have to take that wallet to the police.
 
JOHNNY: Nuh uh!
 
ANNOUNCER: MORAL KOMBAT!
 
Scorpion and Johnny sway back and forth, shifting their weight.
 
SCORPION: Someone lost that wallet, and is probably worried sick about it. You should return it.
 
JOHNNY: It’s not my fault they lost it. I have no obligation to give it back.
 
SCORPION: Karma, Johnny. What if you lost your wallet? Wouldn’t you want it returned?
 
JOHNNY: Well…
 
SCORPION: If you turn it into the police, after 30 days you can claim it if no one else does. Or, if it is claimed, the owner could give you a reward.
 
JOHNNY: But what if that doesn’t happen? Then I get no money!
 
SCORPION: You’ll feel better.
 
JOHNNY: But…
 
ANNOUNCER: FINISH HIM!
 
SCORPION: Hold yourself to a higher standard of decency. Being a good person isn’t about material possessions, it’s about how we act.
 
JOHNNY: Fine…
 
Scorpion snatches the wallet.
 
ANNOUNCER: MORALITY!
 
JOHNNY: Now what?
 
Scorpion rips off his mask and breathes fire on Johnny, who is engulfed in flames.
 
ANNOUNCER: FLAWLESS VICTORY!

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