If this update gets 100 Likes I won't kill myself.

here’s the breakdown:

0 Likes:  I will jump feet first into a wood chipper.

25 Likes: I will kill myself by ramming my head into something repeatedly.

50 Likes: Down the street, not across the tracks.

75 Likes: Downers and Alcohol, just like falling asleep without that pesky waking up thing.

100 Likes: I will live a life of torment and agony, manifested by a career as an emo songwriter.

150 Likes: I will be indifferent towards everything.

200 Likes: I will be a positive, productive member of society, doing the occasional good deed and/or community service project.

300 Likes: I will become a saint, healing the sick and giving sight to the blind.  Children in impoverished nations will clasp hands and sing at the mention of my name.