Unnecessary Sequels and Remakes

With films like Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps and Facebook: The Movie in the works, it seems as if film executives are desperate for ideas. I expect royalties if any of these actually get made.

Unnecessary Sequels and Remakes:

1. Home Alone 5
Directed by Macaulay Culkin.
Starring Rory Culkin.
Synopsis: The kid finally murders the shit out of the robbers.

2. Sisterhood of the Traveling Sweatpants
Synopsis: Four girls share a special pair of sweatpants. They eat. They cry. They watch Lifetime.

3. Citizen Cane
Directed by Michael Bay. Starring Jason Stantham.
Synopsis:The explosive ending is a must see, and the sled is rocket powered!
“Roseblood.”

4. Passion of the Christ 2: Resurrection
Synopsis: 10 days. 500 hundred people. The race to Heaven, begins NOW.

5. Birth of a Nation
Directed by Judd Apatow
Starring Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl
Synopsis: Rogen stars as the Klan leader. Heigl pulls off Rogen’s robes and is horrified to discover that she is way too attractive for him. She ends up dating a black guy.

6. The Godfather renamed The Godmother
Directed by Tyler Perry.
Starring Tyler Perry.
Synopsis: A mischievous, pistol packing Godmother (Perry) must convince her sassy nephew to take over the family hair salon. Mad drama ensues when an expensive weave goes missing.

7 .Being John Malkovich
Starring Gary Busey as John Malkovich.

8. Rebel Without a Cause
Starring Michael Cera.
Synopsis: In this adorable remake, Cera manages to be awkward and endearing at the same time. Indie soundtrack with purchase of every ticket.