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105%-O-Matic

Issue One Hundred and Twenty-Nine

by 105%-O-Matic on

Not available in parallel dimensions.

If you go to clown college, what do you call the funniest guy in class?
-Patrick Christopher N.
What They Should Say
If it ain’t broke, then you need to fix your grammar.
-Phillip Leland
Buzz Lightyear doesn’t understand the definition of infinity.
-Brock Jackson
Happiness
If money can’t buy happiness, shouldn’t pizza, pot & sex be free?
-Michel Sanchez
Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize on the same day we bombed the moon.
-Ben
They say flying a jet-fighter is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Does that mean flying a jet-fighter naked is most fun you can have with your clothes off?
-N B
Life must have been awesome
…Before we discovered gravity.
-Alex Roda
One Of Us
If God was just a stranger on a bus, what would happen to all the crazy people on it who always claim they can talk to Him?
-Patrick Cassels
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Passwords

I work in IT for a fairly well known company, but I work for one of the smaller branches. It's just me and one other person and let me just say, he isn't the brightest bulb. We are suppose to change the passwords to the computers every three months, and I was going to be gone on the day that we were suppose to do it. I wrote down the list of passwords that he needed to... Read More » change it to in an Excel doc and told him that he needed change them before he left on Friday, but after everyone is gone for the weekend. Monday I get back and everyone is asking me why they cannot get onto their computer. It turns out the guy didn't like the passwords I had created and made up his own, and then forgot what they were.