True Story : Jedi Mind D*cks

I was talking to a buddy of mine the other day and we were discussing a story about one of his friends (we’ll call him Luke) from back in the day. His buddy was a huge nerd that happen to be really into partying hard and driving fast which led to a rather interesting interaction with the po-po.

Driving down the highway at a meager 94 mph, Luke and his buddy (we’ll call him Hanz) were enjoying a joyride after drinking a couple and rollin’ a few doobs. As they cruised haphazardly across the land they suddenly noticed the flashing red lights of the state troopers blazing up the rear view mirror. In the pinch, Luke, in his infinite wisdom ingested the remaining swag to cover his rear.

As he chewed the last few steps and pulled over to the side of the road he awaited the conversation with the officer, laughing like an idiot since they were still both drunk and stoned off their keesters.

Police Officer: Good evening boys, you know why I pulled you over?

Luke: No officer, why?

Police Officer: Well, you were going quite a bit over the speed limit. Have you had anything to drink tonight son (shining the light into Luke eyes)

Luke: No sir

SUDDENLY…like a lightning bolt, Luke got a flash of genius.

Luke: (waving his hand across his face and in a solemn voice) “These are not the droids you are looking for”

The officer stepped back, grabbed his radio and ran…not because of the Jedi mind trick, but because a pile up had just been called in and he was the closest to the scene. He sped off, leaving Luke and Chewy stunned and with no idea what had just happen.

The remainder of the evening Luke spent attempting to move things with his mind and use Jedi powers to convince his parents that he wasn’t baked to high heaven.