The nerds who keep our website running are looking for a new nerd to join their ranks.

They're searching for someone who has:

-Fluency in PHP 5 and the LAMP stack
-MySQL with performance tuning and scalability
-Strong understanding of Object Oriented Programming
-Hands on experience with MVC Frameworks
-Caching / Scaling (Memcached, APC, etc.)
-Thorough understanding of HTML, Javascript, CSS and XML
-An understanding of the issues surrounding large-volume websites and scalability
-A preoccupation with staying on top of industry trends and technologies

Bonus Points:

-Experience with SPL a major plus
-e-commerce, credit card authorizations, and billing feature experience
-Linux or Solaris
-jQuery or Prototype
-Content Delivery Networks
-Version Control Systems (we use Subversion)
-Experience building scalable frameworks

Your dorkwad responsibilities would be to:

-Implement major new features and feature improvements
-Track and squash bugs
-Optimize code and queries for better performance
-Database Architecting

If you fit this description or you know someone who does, first, ew, second, you should email techjobs[at]connectedventures[dot]com