Dirtball of the Week: Lil Wayne
Lil Wayne’s Daily Activities
9:30am - Wake up wit crust in my eyes and eat soma dat macaroni.
10:00am - Work out at da local gym.
10:25am - Accidentally shit my pants while doing squats.
10:26am - Fuck it. I’m Lil Wayne.
11:32am - Arrive back at da crib
11:33am - Wipe dat ass
11:33am - Forget to shower
11:49am - Write dem beats
12:05pm - Can’t think of nothin, write about how much munny I got instead.
12:20pm - I wanna write about something meaningful… like cars and hoes
12:30pm - Attempt to read “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens fo inspiration
12:35pm - Get frustrated and eat da front cover
12:50pm - Go to da studio to shoot rap video wit Akon
1:00pm - Argue wit da director cuz I smell like BO
1:20pm - Got held down and sprayed wit a hose by da producers
1:25pm - Cry away da crust in my eyes
3:48pm - Finished shooting video fo da day and back at da crib
4:00pm - “Recess” is on da tv. Eatin a cheeseburger I found in my couch.
4:30pm - Gettin horny. Callin a hoe.
6:00pm - Takin hoe to nice restaurant
6:12pm - Ordering a lobster fo me and my hoe.
6:20pm - Got mistaken fo one of the dishwashers by a waiter. Squeezed his nuts wit my hand.
6:25pm - Lobster got here. Don’t kno how to eat it. Eating napkins instead.
8:06pm - Back at crib wit my hoe. Gettin it on.
8:09pm - Still gettin it on… Gotta shit…
8:10pm - Fuck it. I’m Lil Wayne.
8:11pm - Hoe got angry and left.
8:15pm - Cryin da rest of da crust out my eyes, while wipin dat ass.
9:00pm - Goin out to da club. Still haven’t showered.
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