Naive Fertility Doctor

Doctor: So what can I help you with today?

Man: Well, my wife and I have been trying to conceive for a few months now.

Woman: We’ve tried everything but it just doesn’t seem to have an effect.

Doctor: I see. Tell me, how much do you love each other?

Man: Oh, a lot. I mean, this whole baby thing has caused some stress but nothing we can’t handle.

Doctor: For this to work, you have to be sure you both love each other very much.

Woman: I understand, doctor.

Doctor: You’ll need to hold hands together, look up to the moon and stars…

Man: Of course, of course.

Doctor: …wish upon them for your baby…

Man: Uh, yeah… haha.

Doctor: You can laugh at my methods all you want, but it’s the only way you’ll get your baby.

Woman: By uhh… By wishing?

Doctor: But of course. How else is the stork going to know you want one?

Man: Look, doctor. I understand if you want to lighten the mood but please take us seriously.

Doctor: Everything I’ve told you today is me taking you seriously. You HAVE to love each other very much or you’ll never get your baby. The storks have a knack for knowing these things.

Man: This has gone far enough. Thank you, doctor but I think we’ll be going elsewhe-

Doctor: Wait, wait. There is one more thing you could try… Angela.

Woman: Yes?

Doctor: Do you have… a love garden?

Woman: Oh God.

Doctor: No, really. All you need is a love garden and a baby seed (to man) you’ll need to plant that. You’ll have your baby in a matter of months. Though I’ll be darned if I know how. Modern medicine is beyond me. What’s wrong with a traditional stork, y’know?

Man: It sounds to me like you’re confusing… this… love garden thing with sex.

Doctor: GET OUT OF MY OFFICE IMMEDIATELY! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT KIND OF DISGUSTING LANGUAGE WITHIN MY WALLS. BEGONE, HEATHENS AND NEVER REPRODUCE!