Your friends tell you all the time: He’s not good enough, She’s too fat, YOU deserve better. Your parents are just happy you finally found someone—anyone. Your road to the blissful, butterflies-in-stomach type love has been a rocky one. Literally. Rocky road wasn’t just an ice cream flavor, it continued warming your heart through the coldest, loneliest winters. Until now of course. You’ve finally found your beau, your number to call in case of emergency. Yet your friends, co-workers, and family continue spouting biased remarks from their Trevi fountain of jealousy. What you need is some sound advice. And who better suited than some of your favorite celebs? They’ve been around that block plenty of times. Like a lot. Heck, someone chauffeured them around that effing block in a Mercedez Benz stretch limo. With 24 inch rims.
What your favorite Celebs have to say about love/relationships/the opposite sex:
Actor, Justin Long: “Waiting to be Accepted? Believe me, He’s Just Not That Into You. Still Waiting…? You can Drag Me To Hell if I’m mistaken, but baby he just needs to Live Free or Die Hard.”
…Oh wait, you’re a PC? This explains everything.
Actor, Mel Gibson: “What Woman Want: to remain Forever Young, the key to your Braveheart, and complete command of your Lethal Weapon. Also, Payback after you’ve lost all control of that Lethal Weapon. Four times. ”
Actress, Jennifer Anniston: “1.You have to be Friends first. 2.You should strive to be The Good Girl. 3. Rumor Has It, Love just Happens. Unless of course it’s Derailed by some puffy-mouthed Boyfriend Raider. This could inevitably be the cause of The Break Up“
President, Barack Obama: “Change. Yes—you can.”
Retired Actress, Alicia Silverstone: “I think that it has to be very deep [a relationship]. I think it has to be deep in the way that it is very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.”
Rapper, Weezy F. Baby: “Fuck Bitches, get money.”
…Okay, maybe you should just listen to your friends.
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