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105%-O-Matic

Issue One Hundred and Thirty

by 105%-O-Matic on

Not suitable for children and the eternally young.

“Saw VI” Used In A Sentence
I Saw VI versions of the same movie.
-Joseph Dominick
Planet of the Apes!
Charlton Heston: APES enslaving HUMANS? Everything in this world is backwards!
Dr. Zaius: So you had ape slaves?
-Patrick Cassels
I got a DUI, but in my defense I had no idea I was driving.
-Aaron Kasar
Mad Rex
Every novel is post-apocalyptic if you’re a dinosaur.
-Andrew B.
School:
I always got the highest grades in the class, I was always the teacher’s pet, and all my classmates said I was their bro. It was great going to home school.
-Ryan McDermott
Bulimics are just anorexics who still want to contribute to the economy.
-Conor McKeon
Is a sub-par performance in golf a good or bad thing?
-Jeremy Hidey
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Rough Love Dating stories See All »
Up +70 Down
Sorry buddy.

An ex and I were hooking up on my couch while she was on her period. We put a towel down, so we didn't stain the couch. Hours later we got home from the bar with my buddy who was really hammered. He layed right on the towel. After cracking up for 5 minutes I had to slide it out. He'll never know, but the world needed to.