Meat Loaf Reveals What He Won't Do For Love

Girl: Ohhhh yeah, baby. Just like th- Wait!

Meat Loaf: What’s wrong?

Girl: You can’t just get right to it like that.

Meat Loaf: Why not?

Girl: We need…you know. Foreplay.

Meat Loaf: Oh. Wow. Yeah. Not really my thing.

Girl: I thought you said you’d do anything for love?

Meat Loaf: Right. But I won’t do that.

Girl: That’s what you were talking about? I always thought it was something more profound…

Meat Loaf: Nope. I just don’t like going down on chicks.

Girl: So you’d go to “hell and back” before you’d perform oral sex on me?

Meat Loaf: Haha, now you’re just trying to make me sound bad.

Girl: I just don’t think it’s fair.

Meat Loaf: Look, The Loaf doesn’t need foreplay to get chicks wet.

Meat Loaf summons a demon band and plays a 10-minute epic power ballad that turns the sky black, causes earthquakes, and opens a portal to Hell. Every woman on Earth orgasms twice.

Girl: I’m so…satisfied…I think I might die.

Meat Loaf: They always do.

Meat Loaf rides off to Hell on a motorcycle