Boss: We have a big weekend ahead of us people. Between college, NFL, and the World Series, we have a lot of work to do here in the Statistics Department.
Johnson: We can handle it, sir!
Boss: Shut up Johnson, no one likes an ass kisser. Anyway, I'll assign you all different statistics I want figured up for the commentators to use during the broadcasts. Smith, I want you to make sure the ERA stats are up to date for all the pitchers from Philly and New York.
Smith: No problem.
Boss: Williams I want you to figure up the win streaks for all the college teams as well as find out what Internet links for Erin Andrew's nude video still work.
Williams: With pleasure.
Davis: What do you want me to do boss?
Boss: Well Davis I was thinking since we have all these powerful computers that you could go through the data and find some interesting statistics for this weekend.
Davis: Like what?
Boss: Find out how many pitchers have hit home runs in the World Series, and out of those, how many of them had mustaches.
Davis: Why would people want to know that?
Boss: Why wouldn't people want to know that?
Boss: Also, see if there is a correlation between coaches that hit their wives and their winning percentages. I have a feeling that they might be connected.
Davis: Anything else?
Boss: Find the average hang time of every team's 3rd string punter, each team's rushing yards as a function of what concession stand food sold the best that day, and how often the Yankees bunt on third down.
Davis: that last one doesn't make sense.
Boss: Alright people, good meeting, now let's get to work.
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