Genie: Alright, let’s hear it.
Aladdin: I want Princess Jasmine to lust for me non-stop.
Genie: Uh-uh, I can’t make anyone fall in love with –
Aladdin: No. Lust. Like, she wants to bang me all the time, day and night. No love required.
Genie: Oh…come on. That’s pretty much the same thing.
Aladdin: I live on the streets and my best friend is the monkey from Outbreak, you think I’m ready for a steady girlfriend?
Genie: Think you’re pretty clever, getting around my rule, huh? Well let’s see you break the other two: I won’t bring anyone back from the dead or grant you more wishes.
Aladdin: Okay, I accept I can’t bring people back from the dead. Instead, I wish for you to go back in time and grant everyone I ever cared about complete immortality, so that they never died in the first place.
Genie: Goddammit… FINE. Done. You’re down to your last wish now, Aladdin. Better make it a good one. Remember: you can’t wish for more wishes.
Aladdin: I wish for more genies.
Genie: Oh f*ck you, Al. Last time I waste my Jack Nicholson impersonation on a street rat.
Aladdin: We live in pre-Industrial Revolution Arabia. I have no idea who that is.
15 Phrases You'll Hear During Finals Week, and What They Really Mean
News Feed History of the World: January 2012
Winter Pick-Up Lines
How Creepy You Are, as Determined by Your Pets
Christmas Gift Org Charts, Through Life
The 8 Relatives You'll Talk to at Thanksgiving
Hot athletic girls working a pole
Put that English degree to work over-analyzing beloved children's entertainment.
A good resource if you base you fantasy football team on great hair.
Dear roommate, please stop leaving your notes everywhere.
Cody Kennedy. Not pictured: clothes.
Don't tell me where Waldo is. Now you've ruined it.
This injustice will not stand. Largely due to the packaging.
It's rare to find sculptures of this caliber
For those who understand data sets, but not the mysteries of the heart
Just a few more quarters... I know I can get this baby.
