Roommate Confessions: Issue 102

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Remember when you didn’t have a lot of McDonald’s fries with your meal and you asked if I just ate some of them? Well, that’s the half truth. While I was driving home, I turned a corner and the fries fell on the dirty car floor so before I gave you your food, I just picked them back up and put them back in the bag.

Alex, School Not Given

You refused to take out the trash, wash your dishes or clean your side of the sink so I cleaned your side of the sink along with your microwave with my dirty socks and rung the water into energy drink the other day.
Brittani B, VSU

Hey you obnoxious suitemate. Remember how you had to spend hundreds of dollars getting your laptop fixed four different times because the hard drive kept “freezing”? Yeah, that was easy to do. One magnet, ten seconds, and boom! All your data is gone. Try not to come home at 4 am with some creepy guy who just met your drunk ass. And if you’re going to do that, stop losing your fucking key.
Anonymous

Remember when I was a freshman, I had just moved from my tiny town to the biggest city in our state. When I moved in you had taken all of the space in the room. You ditched me for the first two weeks, then you started bringing back random guys. The first time I walked in on you naked with a guy at 1PM I let it slide. Then you started smoking pot with some random dude in our room. Then you let that coke dealer live with us for two weeks. I was the one who got him arrested by the way, otherwise I’m sure he would have stayed for the rest of the semester (what 30 year old drug dealer doesn’t want to bang a 19 year old pot head)? Your little revenge for the arrested boyfriend was to kill my goldfish. Remember the 5 ft tree you brought into our room. I killed all of your plants, and while I was pouring bleach into one of them I spilled onto your laptop. I really tried to dry it out, but then I stopped caring. Good thing it was finals week.
Brittany Smith, School Not Given

When I was living in the dorms my freshman year whenever we were drinking or smoking my neighbors would always announce themselves as the police, saying “open this door now!” Obviously covering the eyehole is a dead giveaway. After a few weeks of this I got a cutout of a life-size police officer. Next time I knew they were smoking my roommate and I put the cutout outside their door and knocked saying, “This is the police, open up!” They flushed their entire stash.
Jason H, Western Michigan University

Submit yours here!