Daily Thanks - Horse Sex

Everyday we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful that I don’t want to have sex with horses.

That’s right folks. This is actually a problem that some people have to face everyday of their lives. They see that mare and they can’t help but stare. Something is fused in their brain which causes them to be uncontrollably driven into a state of unbridled desire for these undressed dressage maneuvers. If you don’t know the term “dressage” then look it up because that was damn fine writing right there.

Some things that could cause you to want and or need to have sex with horses may include: troubled childhood, troubled adolescence, troubled tween years, troubled teen years, troubled birth, troubled breakfast, troubled first day of school, troubled attempt at making a sandwich, troubled day at the ol’ cheyenne, troubled toothbrush purchasing, troubled bubble blowing etc.

Things can happen in life which lead you to feel cheated, abandoned, slighted, unappreciated, unaccomplished and sometimes just plain old shitty. However I can wake up everyday and if nothing else be thankful that I am not one of these X-rated Equestrian or as I have just made up….. X-questrian. Too much fun. A lot of people have a hard time coming out of the closet to their friends and family about being a homosexual. Imagine having to sit your family down and tell them that you were a horse fucker. “Mom. Dad. I don’t know if you knew this about me already but Seabiscuit and I are somewhat of an item.”

So let’s all take a moment and say “Today I am thankful that I do not want to have sex with horses.” Unless you actually DO want to have sex with horses in which case you must say “I think it’s time to consider shock treatment.”

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.